Today we meet Bartimaeus. As I reflected on his encounter with Our Lord, I was struck by how much he stands in contrast to the rich young man whom we met two weeks ago. I think we can presume that the rich young man was well-fed and healthy. Bartimaeus was blind and malnourished. The wealthy young man was finely dressed. Bartimaeus was a beggar with only one cloak. The young man was educated, cultured, popular, a “somebody in society, Bartimaeus was a “nobody,” a nuisance rebuked by the crowd.
Yet Bartimaeus could see what the rich young man could not. The rich young man was a “prisoner of his possessions,” so attached to his wealth that he walks away from the Lord in sadness. Bartimaeus had no attachments.
Having nothing to lose, he tosses aside his filthy cloak and joyfully follows the Lord. He receives not only his sight but salvation as well. From the spiritual point of view, the rich young man was the blind person.
Helen Keller, who was both deaf and blind from birth, said, “Better to be blind and to see with your heart than to have two good eyes and see nothing.” Blind Bartimaeus could see with his heart. The rich young man could not see how his possessions were a detriment, an obstacle to his pursuit of perfection.
We all have “blind spots” those certain attitudes and actions that impede our spiritual growth and harm our relationships with others. How do we discover our blind spots? Family and friends might point them out to us but we likely resist and even resent their input. That is why there is an old saying: “Tell the truth and run!”
In his famous Spiritual Exercises St. Ignatius of Loyola provides another way to know our blind spots. It is a five step process he called the daily “Examen.” It goes a bit farther than the examination of conscience we make before our sacramental confession.
The first is gratitude. We begin not by listing the sins we have committed through the day, but by thanking the Lord for his goodness and love. It is easy to focus on the day’s burdens but we should also see its blessings.
Step Two is to pray for enlightenment. We ask the Lord to grant us the humility and courage to see ourselves as He sees us; not as we would like to see ourselves.
We move to the third step which is to replay the day—to review the people and situations we have encountered and consider “How did I respond to these people and situations? What did I bring to them—joy, fear, resentment, anger, impatience, shame, disgust, gratitude?” “Where have I failed?” “What could I have done better?” We face the Lord where we are, as we are.
Steps Four and Five are linked. After our replay of the day we grow in humility and self-knowledge and so we repent and resolve. More aware of our sins, we express our contrition and our resolve to change. We look to the future with greater confidence.
The Examen is like shining a daily floodlight on our soul and conscience. It helps us to have the vision of Bartimaeus!