A seminary professor shocked his students when he began his lesson by saying, “I hope that one day, all of you will lose your faith…and your hope.” But then he explained that it was the very best thing you could wish for anyone. You see, in heaven we do not need faith, because our faith in God is replaced with the vision of God and we will not need hope because our hope will be fulfilled.” So, the professor’s wish was not a bad one since he was actually wanting his students to go to heaven where there is no need for faith or hope but where we experience eternal love.
Love is the key to heaven’s door. St. John of the Cross says that “at the end of our life, we shall be judged by love.” Yet our culture has damaged what love really is, simply through overuse: I love French fries. I love my new IPhone. I love my dog. I love the Naples Soccer team. I love my spouse. I love my mother…my father. By applying the word love to so many things, the word doesn’t impact us as it should and in the way the Gospel intends.
Today Our Lord describes the love he commands of his disciples. He does not merely say, “Love one another,” but “Love one another, as I have loved you.” How did he love us? To know we have only to look upon the cross. His love was a costly love, a selfless love, a sacrificial love. Is this possible for us?
We see it in the lives of spouses and parents. Their love is often costly, selfless, and sacrificial. Most often we show our love to those who are good to us or those whose company we enjoy; but that is easy. Our Lord reminds us, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even pagans do as much.” Jesus expects much more from his disciples. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus makes it clear that the kind of love he commands embraces those we find difficult and annoying, those who dislike us, hurt us, and even our enemies!
This is the challenge! Are we just supposed to force a smile or fake a laugh, while we're cringing inside or want to flee? How can we possibly be genuine with negative emotions broiling just beneath the surface? We might cultivate these four attitudes:
Be prayerful. because we cannot love like Christ without Christ. Regular prayer for difficult people may not change them but it can change us. Bringing them into the presence of God in prayer, our attitude toward them slowly changes.
Be humble. As we look at ourselves honestly, we recognize our own faults. Who am I then, to judge or look down on another? Jesus says: “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?”
Be prudent. There can be something oddly pleasing about keeping an account of the defects of others, looking for more fuel to feed our dislike. Venting and gossiping about them may feel good for a while, but in the end, it will only lead to greater resentment.
Finally, consider the extent of God’s love. Jesus loves that person as much as he loves me. His mercy extends to us both.
I like how Thomas Merton sums it up: “Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business, and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy if anything can…If we wait for someone to become more attractive or likable in order to love them, we will never begin to fulfill the Lord’s command.”
At the end of our earthly life, when our faith and hope defer to God who is love, we shall be asked, “How have you loved?” May the Eucharist, the Sacrament of Love we receive, be our strength enabling us to love as Christ has loved us.
