May 15, 2022

5th Sunday of Easter

Forgiveness—Loving as Jesus Loved Us

Msgr. Thomas Gervasio

Did you ever wonder why Our Lord calls his command to love, a “new” commandment? The command to love can be found in the Old Testament, so in what sense can the Lord’s command be “new?” In the Old Testament, the Israelites were commanded to love their neighbor as they loved themselves (Lev. 19:18), but at the Last Supper, Jesus said “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” This raised the ante considerably. Love for neighbor is no longer to be measured by the love of oneself, but by Jesus’ love for us, a love which brought him to lay down his life for us on the cross. Jesus’ command was ‘new’ because it demanded a different and more profound love, a love that will identify us as his disciples. And yet, we know that practicing it is a great challenge.
           
Loving is not a skill with which we are born. Loving is a skill that must be learned, a skill that takes time and practice….so we can expect to make some mistakes along the way, but we should never give up learning to love, never give up striving to fulfill the Lord’s command.  

One powerful way we can love as Jesus loved is forgiveness. From the cross, Jesus forgave his executioners and if we are to love as he did, we must learn how to forgive. From the cross he prayed: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” If we are to love as Jesus loved, then forgiveness is the way…perhaps the most difficult way, especially if we have been hurt.

Wounds are powerful and we can easily sink into the quicksand of resentment. Resentment imprisons us within our own little world that prevents us from seeing the good in God and others. Serious injustices and wrongs against us are pains that run deep, but healing comes from trying to let go and trying to move on.

I’d like to provide five points to guide us on the road to forgiveness:

1. I don’t know who first said, “Forgive and forget,” but it isn’t a realistic way to tackle the task of forgiveness. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. I can forgive someone here and now but forgetting may take a long time, perhaps a lifetime! We need time to work through the painful areas for our own sake. We can’t forget or deny the injustice that is done to us. We do not necessarily need to become that person’s best friend, but we can continue to repeat the words of forgiveness that we extend to the one who has hurt us.

2. Sincerely pray for the person who has hurt you. When we are praying continually for the person who has hurt us, when we place them before the Lord, our attitude towards them slowly begins to change. Prayer is a huge part of your healing process.

3. It is often the case that “hurt people hurt people.” You never know the hidden suffering and history of the one who hurt you. This should be kept in mind as we pray for another. He or she has also been hurt in the past and the Lord loves them as deeply as he loves me. This realization increases our sentiments of compassion for another.

4. Let it go and give it to God. Do not allow valuable time and energy to be wasted on a past hurt. Leave the past to the mercy of God. Forgiving lifts a great millstone from our necks. By giving it to God, we can break out of the tomb of bitterness and resentment.

5. Focus more on gratitude for all the good that God and others are causing in your life. Reflect regularly on the blessings of life rather than the burdens.

Let us pray asking that we might love as Jesus loved:

Lord Jesus, you gave your disciples the new commandment that we should love one another, as you loved us, but my love is so often poor, weak, and far removed from all that you desire of me. Fill me, I pray, with your love that I may love others in the same way you love me. Help me to love not only those who are lovable, but also those who lash out at me through pain or anger, disappointment, or loss. May your love be manifested in me so that all may know that I am your disciple, you who are Lord forever and ever. Amen.