This Week's Homily

Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

Marriage, How Can We Help?

Msgr. Gervasio

Bill had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his wife, Betty had stayed by his bedside every day. One day, Bill came to and he motioned for Betty to draw nearer. He whispered, eyes full of tears, “Betty, you have always been by my side. When I was fired, you supported me. When the business failed, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. Whenever I was ill, you stayed by my side. Do you know what?” “What dear?” she asked tenderly. “I think you’re bad luck!”
 
George and Helen, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35^th wedding anniversary. During their party, out of a champagne bottle appeared a genie who said that he would grant each of them one wish. Helen asked to travel around the world—and poof—she had tickets in hand for a world cruise. George said, I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.” And poof—George turned 90!
 
Jokes abound about married life, and we would do well to keep our sense of humor no matter our vocation. Yet today we are reminded that marriage is a vocation that is most sacred and most serious. Our Lord clearly affirms its indissolubility and permanence. It is God’s plan that the marriage of a man and woman should be loving, faithful and life-long. But as a title of Matthew Kelly’s book reminds us, “Life is Messy!” We know that, for many reasons, this plan is not always realized in many marriages. Sadly, I am fairly certain—there is not a person here who has not been affected by the pain of separation and divorce.
Too many couples have had to travel this difficult path.
 
Many would assert that the Lord’s teaching on marriage is impractical—not suited to the reality of today’s culture. How can we be faithful to the Lord’s teaching and still minister in the current culture?
 
The Church, each of us, can if we take up four get challenges:
 
The first is to minister lovingly to those who are divorced and separated. They should know that they are always part of the Church and share in its life. They can and should receive the sacraments which are a source of strength. The Catechism acknowledges that divorce is often the last resort and the only way of ensuring certain rights. The Church also recognizes that in divorce, there are “innocent victims and those unjustly abandoned.” Don’t they deserve the support of the Church?
 
The second challenge is to accompany those who have divorced and remarried in a non-Catholic ceremony. They too, have a place in the Church. Our parish is always happy to help them “regularize” or “bless” their union. Call us! It is not a complicated process. This opens the door to the sacraments and the ability to stand as sponsors for baptism and confirmation.
 
The third challenge is to prepare engaged couples well for marriage. If marriage is to be a life-long, exclusive, and faithful union, then we should help develop the skills they need for a lifetime commitment and focus much less on the wedding details of a day. This is why ample time is needed.
 
We can all do a better job within our families and parishes to point couples to the treasure of a sacramental, grace-filled marriage rather then a wedding venue at the beach or garden.
 
Finally, we should support couples through their marriage. Days of recollection, retreats, and counseling are great helps. So too is, a weekend program called “Retrouvaille” (Rediscovery) for hurting marriages. Call us about this wonderful ministry.
 
Marriage is a great vocation. Some might focus on its burdens but we should hold up its beauty and blessings.
 
Today let us pray for all engaged couples, married couples and those struggling in marriage. My vocation is the priesthood to be sure—which my mother once affirmed when she told me after I did something silly, “You spared some good woman by becoming a priest.