As we come to the doorstep of Lent, we find in the Gospel what have been called, “Our Lord’s most unreasonable commands.” They appear unreasonable because they go against our natural instincts. Love is not the instinctive response when we have been hurt, betrayed, defrauded, or when someone has spoken ill of us. It is a teaching that applies to the relative I haven’t spoken to in years, the neighbor we delight in annoying, the co-worker who is angry that I have the position he or she sought. It also applies to the pastor who annoys me!
How is it possible to love such people? Our instinctive response is to get even, to seek revenge. When we discover that someone has become an enemy, our typical reaction is to become their enemy; and this resentment displays itself in many ways: the silent treatment, avoidance, rudeness, and if the occasion presents itself, “bad mouthing” them. In effect, we retaliate by dehumanizing them. I recall someone saying to me, “If you throw a stone at me, I will throw a boulder at you!” Not exactly the approach advocated by the Lord! At a parish mission a priest said, “There is nothing that so deadens the soul, or so retards spiritual growth, freedom, and liberation than carrying around a heavy, stinking bag of resentment.” At the funeral of President Bush, Senator Simpson reminded the assembled mourners, “Hate corrodes the container is carried in.”
Our Lord teaches us that a disciple responds to enemies and persecutors with love and prayer. Still, we are quick to point out that this precept is far too difficult and even impossible to fulfill: “There is no way I could love an enemy or pray for my persecutors. Their sin is far too great! The pain they caused me is too profound.”
Prayer is the path to love, a form of love. While we may be inclined to pray, “Lord, give that person what they have coming to them,” a disciple’s prayer might begin, “Lord, right now I am hurt...I really despise that person and I know I should not hold this resentment in my heart.”
A disciple might even pray using the words of the Sequence of Pentecost: “Come, Holy Spirit, shine within this heart of yours and my innermost being fill. Heal my wounds, my strength renew. Bend the stubborn heart and will. Melt the frozen, warm the chill.” That desire to love, to open our hearts to one who is an enemy or persecutor is a good start.
We may not be able to change our enemy, but we can change ourselves. Loving our enemy doesn’t mean we have to add them to our Christmas list or make them our best friend. It doesn’t mean we excuse their actions. But our prayer for them will help us begin to look upon them with the eyes that I expect God to look upon me.
The Lord says if we desire mercy, we must be merciful. He didn’t restrict that mercy only to those who are good to us. He also warns, “The measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.” Archabbot Lambert Reilly said, “Christ doesn’t come to make life easy. Christ comes to make us great.” Greatness comes when we meet the challenge of today’s Gospel. Fr. Henri Nouwen calls it “stepping over the wounds.” Today let us ask for this very grace. Lent is a good time to consider this difficult but essential teaching. Lord, help us find the freedom to step over our wounds and give us the courage to forgive those who have wounded us. Help us to step over our resentments and place our feet on the path toward reconciliation. Then we will know the embrace of a God whose love will heal all our wounds.