No one would argue that family life is a noble and rewarding vocation. We know as well that at times it can be stressful and chaotic. Among my Christmas cards this year, was one from an altar server of yesteryear. He included a photo of him and his wife and their eleven children. They could surely write a book on family life and even be subjects of a reality show. Family life today is not easy. Its very meaning is complicated by our culture that accepts diverse definitions of a family. Yet, the family is the cell of society.
St. John Paul II said that the “future of humanity passes by way of the family.” Cardinal Basil Hume echoed that assertion when he said, “If the family is weakened, then the whole quality of life within society is impaired, and one finds it even more difficult to learn how to love and to form mature and satisfactory relationships.”
Today’s feast, fittingly set within the Christmas Season, has us contemplate the Holy Family of Nazareth as models for our own families. Yet, even Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were not immune from problems. We need their example and assistance since no family is perfect. No family functions at its optimal level at all times. Family life can be messy.
Outside every home we might well post a sign that reads, “Under Construction.” That construction has many facets and they are found in the home of Nazareth which is the school of life and love. What do we find in that extraordinary home that we can make part of own? While there are many, I’d like to highlight three:
The first is understanding. Consider the Incarnation. God could have saved us and remained a remote, detached, or isolated God—he chose another way. In Jesus, God literally “got into our skin” so that we would be able to say, “God understands me. God knows my weaknesses and struggles. Just as Jesus became incarnate, we too must become, if you will, “incarnate” with others. That is to say, we have to get into the skin of others and understand them. This doesn’t mean we must always agree with them, but understand them by putting ourselves in their shoes. We often want to remake people into what we think they should be. We want them to meet our expectations and when this doesn’t happen, we become annoyed or even write them off. The family is the place where one should find understanding, patience, and acceptance.
The second is reconciliation. Forgiveness should be found first and foremost within the family. The textbook for this could be the Parable of the Prodigal Son. There, in the face of painful, rash decisions, departure, resentment, and pride, we find the humility of conversion, a parent’s unconditional love, and the joy of homecoming. Every member of our family should learn the joy of new beginnings. Within the family, every member’s dignity is restored and respected. Within the family one can move into the future with hope.
Finally, the family should be the place where prayer and virtues are cultivated. Families should practice the spiritual and corporal works of mercy which move us beyond the walls of our home to meet the Lord in the marginalized and needy.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, in you we contemplate the splendor of true love that made your home the school of holiness. May the divine light that illumined it shine within our homes. Grant that the homes of our families may be places of communion and prayer, authentic schools of the Gospel. Keep our families free from all violence, rejection, and division; grant us the strength and courage to overcome problems so that any wounds may be healed and bitterness may be conquered by forgiveness. May love grow ever stronger. Holy Family of Nazareth, help us rediscover the sacredness of family life that we may always see its beauty and experience its joy. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, graciously hear our prayer. Amen. [Adapted from a prayer of Pope Francis]
