Today we can surely relate with the apostles who placed themselves in quarantine. Not for any pandemic, of course, but out of fear.
One day a woman went to a counselor about the fear she was always experiencing. “Every time I lay down on my bed,” she said, “I get this terrible fear that there is something hiding underneath.” The counselor said, “Ah! This is quite serious. It would take about 20 sessions to work through it. Then she learned that the fee would be $100 a session. She returned home and discussed it with her husband. Her husband took matters into his own hands and sawed off the legs of the bed! Problem solved.
I am sure we can all think of times we have been afraid. It is a normal human experience and yet at times, we feel embarrassed by it. I shouldn’t be afraid but I am. Fears cause us to worry a lot and so we suffer a lot. It’s hard to turn off our worrying minds. This was the experience of the apostles and it is so often ours.
St. John tells us that there was one apostle however who was not with the fear filled group. One who would be known not so much for his fear as for his doubt—St. Thomas!
Doubt has its origin in many things: the controversies stirred up by those we might call the apostles of atheism who are so vocal in our culture; the circumstances of life; the questions we encounter from living in a fallen world; our own spiritual apprehensions, all of which cause us to ask “why.” Doubts are not sinful or wrong.
The great saints of Scripture and the Church’s history doubted and questioned. Doubt does not imply a lack of faith. We might well call Thomas the patron saint, the model, for all those who struggle to believe, who question and who seek greater understanding.
Into this setting of fear and doubt enters Our Risen Lord who says, “Peace be with you,” “Shalom” not once but three times. The weak apostles who had abandoned Our Lord needed reassurance.
Their fears, their sense of failure and their guilt in abandoning their Lord at the time of his passion, weighed so heavily upon them but the Lord assures them of his love, his mercy, and his peace. The Lord assures us as well.
Jesuit Father George Maloney reminds us that the Lord “is filled with infinite mercy and forgiving love. He does not look to the sins or falsity in our lives, but he brings his healing love to all who are lonely and desolate. He gives hope to the hopeless. His perfect love, experienced in the hearts of those who turn back in repentance...casts out all fear.” [In Jesus We Trust, p. 64]
Today’s concurrent celebration of Divine Mercy Sunday wonderfully underscores this consoling message. God’s love and mercy for us is greater than our sins. He wanted his apostles to understand this and he wants us to understand this.
Today is a privileged day to call upon the Lord with trust in order to receive His mercy, the day to come to know the true and lasting peace he offers.
Today is the day, if I can express it in words of Father Maloney, when we are called to “put ourselves into the world of God’s forgiving mercy and love that knows no end. Then Jesus Christ becomes our sole strength. Our weaknesses become no longer obstacles, but the point where God meets us in his omnipotence” [ibid p. 66] ...Indeed a day when the Risen Lord, says to us, “Peace! As the Father has loved me, so I love you.” [Jn 15:9]